


Even More Change!

by keepquietplease



Series: Sugar Daddy AU [4]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Heterochromia, BDSM, Daddy Kink, Discussion of Abortion, Genderfluid Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Master/Servant, Multi, Non-Binary Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Pansexual Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Polyamory, Smut, Sugar Daddy, Trans Morality | Patton Sanders, it's mentioned - Freeform, multiple pronouns, the fact Virgil was supposed to be aborted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:42:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27603674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepquietplease/pseuds/keepquietplease
Summary: The first therapy appointment went...well.But there's still more appointments, and there's many more pronouns.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Sugar Daddy AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1969855
Comments: 8
Kudos: 98





	Even More Change!

**Author's Note:**

> Ages and heights:  
> Virgil: 22, 5'0  
> Logan: 41, 6'4  
> Remus: 46, 6'2  
> Patton: 45, 5'6.5
> 
> I...I did not follow the sides actual birthdays....it's FINE
> 
> Also, in my mind, Virgil is always jewish, so...  
> Also also: sorry for taking a million years. I told y'all, college is a busy thing.

The car was silent. The mood had been brought down since Virgil got into the backseat with Patton, eyes red and puffy. The energy filling the air was reeking of anger, and Virgil refused to meet any of their eyes. After ten minutes, Patton reached over and grabbed one hand, rubbing circles in the palm. Virgil leaned against him, exhaling slowly. They'd be home in five minutes, and Patton was staying as long as Virgil needed because this was already scary; having that first therapy appointment was a big deal. It was all Virgil's choice if they decided to talk about it. 

"Sugarplum, look at me." Patton said softly, letting those multicolored eyes open and focus on him. "What do you want when we get back? Do you want to talk about it, or should we do something to distract you?"

Virgil shrugged, inching closer.

"Come on, baby. What do you want?"

"I want to pretend I didn't discover all of this shit about me. I'm mad at you all for making me go. I'm mad because apparently it's not normal to wake up everyday knowing that I'll never make it in life, and that relying on three older men to love me but secretly believing they'll leave me when they're done with me isn't healthy. The fact that I believe they'll get sick of me makes it worse! I don't want them to be unhappy dating me, so obviously I should just let them go when they're tired of me, but I know I'll be broken and angry and scared! I shouldn't put that on you three! I shouldn't put all of my being on you! She said I need to see someone about medication because I'm unable to control my thoughts, and apparently it's also not normal to think I'd be better off dead, and I don't know how to deal with that! And then we got into gender, and--"

Virgil stopped at that, moving away from Patton and looking at the faint reflection in the window with a big frown that upset all three older men. Logan glanced back from the passenger seat. "Gender?"

"I'm not sure if I'm a guy anymore. I was never sure, but I don't have dysphoria, so I blocked that out of my mind. She told me that cisgender people don't usually recoil at their pronouns, but I don't always hate my pronouns, and that makes me more angry! I don't know who I am! I spent so long pushing my on and off disgust with my pronouns out of my mind that it hit me like a tidal wave! Yesterday I was fine with he and him, but today I felt like hiding away because someone called me sir, and that doesn't seem accurate. I don't want breasts or a vagina or a uterus, and I'm fine with my body right now, but I hate being called sir. I hate being addressed as a guy. I hate this. I hate how vulnerable I feel right now. I don't like being this open. I liked my old routine of just sleeping with people and letting insults eat away at me. Taking steps to get more in control with my mind is painful. Questioning if I'm faking the need to not be perceived as male is awful."

"You do know you don't have to be a girl or boy, right sugarplum?" Patton asked gently, reaching out again. He scratched his lover's back lightly. "You also don't have to just be a gender or agender, for that matter."

"I don't know what I am. I don't know if it's okay. My parents, as awful as they were, were fine with me being pansexual. No point in adding more hate to a kid that they wanted to abort but didn't." Virgil heard all three of them inhale sharply at that but continued without pause. "But gender was a big no! Even if I was a shitty son who made his dad leave his mom, I was still a fucking son! That's the only thing that kept me grounded, and it feels wrong that I'm questioning my gender."

"Honey, you're dating a trans man."

"I know, but it's okay if other people aren't cis. It's not okay if I'm--I don't know. I just don't know how to deal with this. That's twenty new emotions on top of the ones I have right now. and I don't have the emotional capacity to deal with this."

"Do you like she? Is she alright, darling?" Remus pipped up from the driver's seat. "What about they?"

"I mean, all of them feel good. I don't know which would--"

"Look at my darling lover, Virgil. She did such a good job attending therapy today. I'm so proud of her." Patton cooed, watching Virgil's eyes brighten a bit. "That good?"

"Oh."

"Now let's try they." Remus glanced in the mirror. "There's Virgil, and they're absolutely wonderful."

Virgil turned red, squirming a bit. "They feels better than he, but right now I really like she. Um, thank you. I'm sorry for yelling."

Patton kissed her hand, smiling. "Don't be sorry. It's good that we're discovering things. We can buy you different pins for when you feel a certain pronoun. Would that be good? To have a set of pins with all of these pronouns?"

"And of course, you'll continue therapy for the other stuff. We'll be happy to get you any medication prescribed to you." Logan said as they pulled up the house. "My beautiful girlfriend."

Virgil absolutely loved when Logan said that. She still looked a bit upset about whatever was discussed in therapy, but she was looking in his eyes. That was a start. He wondered how long this had been eating at her. He already had a few pin shops open on his phone, ready to order.

"You're completely valid in not wanting to put your happiness on the three of us, and we'll work on that, but none of us have gotten sick of you. I don't think we will. Come on, princess. We're home."

She got out of the car. Remus went up to her, squeezing her cheeks and pulling them so she was smiling. "So I can say you're our good girl now, right?"

"Yeah, I think so. When I feel like a she. I do like being called princess all the time, though. That one's just nice."

He bent down, kissing her softly. She took his hands, squeezing softly as she pulled away. 

"I'm still mad that you made me go to therapy, but I'm slightly less mad. More confused about the whole gender thing, but I like this. I like how accepting you three are."

"I can now say I'm attracted to one person who uses she and her as pronouns. So can Logan and Patton. I can say I have a girlfriend. Holy shit. I'm telling Roman I have a girlfriend now!"

Logan cleared his throat, cocking his head towards Virgil. 

"If you're okay with that, of course."

"As long as he knows the pronouns can change." She said, squeezing his hands again. "Question. What do I do on days when multiple pronouns feel right?"

Both men looked at Patton, not sure themselves, and he blinked. "I guess wear the pins of whatever pronouns feel right. We can switch between them or just pick, but we'll know you feel like multiple if you wear more than one pin."

She nodded, rubbing her right eye. It still burned slightly from the crying earlier. She let out a lot of repressed emotions and memories that had been making her self-conscious. She was tired, both physically and mentally. She wanted to eat a lot of food and watch some bad movie, and she wanted to nap for the next two days. Logan wrapped his arms around her. "What should we do for lunch?"

Then all eyes were on her.

"Princess?"

"Oh, uh, I can make anything really."

"Do you want to cook, or should we eat out? We can go to an actual restaurant if you want."

"I don't. . . um, I don't want to go anywhere else. I'm tired, and I really don't want to be called sir, and no matter how feminine I dress, I'll be called sir and just get weird looks. That's what happens whenever I wear my skirt out, and I don't think I can handle that. I don't think I can even go out. I'm nervous about being out and people seeing my face and knowing I cried earlier. I'm sorry if I sound--"

"Oh! Let's order pizza!" Patton said, quickly distracting her from whatever she was going to apologize for. She smiled at that.

"Pizza sounds wonderful. I'd love to eat pizza with whatever toppings. I'm. . . I'm going to sit on something that isn't supposed to be sat on. Maybe the railing on the top of the stairs. That sounds like fun. A little dangerous. I want to feel fear."

"My face is also a nontraditional surface." Remus said, frantically typing to Roman about Virgil's pronouns. "Just an offer."

"Still mad that you're all making me go to therapy. I want to keep going, but I'm pissed that I uncovered all these bad memories. I need time to cool down."

"Of course, sugar." Patton urged them all inside, keeping a hand on her lower back. "We'll order so you can unwind. Be careful on the railing. Stay on the side that's closer to the ground. I don't want you to get hurt. Be a good girl. No trips to the ER."

"Yes daddy."

He pressed a kiss to her lips, patting her butt as she went to the staircase. She ran up the stairs, finding a comfortable position on the railing. She could hear the faint noises of Logan ordering pizza and Remus talking to Roman on speaker phone. It was still going to be stressful, and she wasn't looking forward to her next appointment, but she felt better knowing who she came home to after each session.

* * *

They stopped straightening their hair. Virgil used to straighten their hair, but it was getting to be too much trouble with how long it had grown. It reached their shoulders, and it had loose curls. It drove everyone crazy. Pulling their hair became everyones favorite thing. Patton was usually gentle, tugging so Virgil was breathing softly against his neck. Remus and Logan made it hurt, which they loved. They couldn't catch a break anymore. They could be cleaning, and all of a sudden they'd feel a sharp tug, and they'd be on their knees.

Like they were now.

"Fucking perfect." Remus hissed, giving another tug. Virgil let out a small moan, licking the underside of his cock. He tugged harder. "I love seeing my partner on their knees on my days off."

Logan had a small meeting about the upcoming semester, and he was bringing back a special lunch. It was Remus' birthday, so Janus gave him the day off, claiming they could shoot scenes without the monster. This was one of two birthday presents Virgil had for him. They'd let him use their body as he saw fit, and they also made him cake with chili pepper sauce and candied jalapeños. They made eye contact with him, feeling butterflies in their stomach. They'd never get used to the love in their boyfriends' eyes. Remus tugged their hair again, watching as their eyes fluttered shut.

"You enjoying yourself, princess?"

They let out a garbled confirmation. 

"Good. I could keep you on your knees all day. I should just keep you here. I love you." He gave another harsh pull, smiling. Each yank rendered them useless. They were just sitting there, mouth around him, making no movements unless he moved them. He pulled again and again, his grin growing. With each tug, he repeated his declaration of love, watching as his lover swallowed around him. It was nice, and once Logan returned, it would even be better. "Too bad we're going out tonight. At least I get to see you in a fancy, tight dress."

Remus bought them a dress that showed enough skin that he'd enjoy it, but that Virgil would still feel comfortable showing themselves in public. He said it was his own gift to himself, and the fact that Logan would also be dressing up in formal clothing made him extremely happy. He was excited to take them both to a fancy restaurant. 

"Then I get to take that dress off of you. That'll be my favorite part. Unzipping the back of your dress. Maybe you could do a little strip tease for me. Put on a show for my birthday. Would you give me a lap dance?" He pulled Virgil off of him, tightening his grip. It took them a second to remember how to speak.

"Yes. I need to look up how to, but I can. That'll be my third present for you."

He pulled them up by the hair, giving their naked body a once over.

"What do you need?"

"Get on my lap. I want you to show me how desperate you are. You can use your hands or just move against me, but I want to see desperation."

They got on his lap, burying their face in his neck. They mouthed kisses to his neck as they began to grind against him. Remus slid a hand to their ass, squeezing roughly. He kept groping them, using his other to keep tugging at the curls. They let out a small moan, mouthing down to his shoulder to leave a mark. They couldn't leave anything too high up. The suit wouldn't cover all of his neck. They kept moving, pulling back to face him.

"What do you want, princess?"

"Kiss."

He leaned close, kissing them on the lips. Such a gentle kiss from someone being so rough. The butterflies increased. They could both hear the front door open. Remus pulled away at that, waiting for Logan to appear in his vision. Virgil went back to kissing his neck. They heard a chuckle from behind them, and the sound of bags being put down on a table.

"I got us salads. Virgil's prescription was ready, so I stopped at the pharmacy on the way home. Virgil, you have to take your medicine before we go to bed, and I will be making sure you take your medicine." Logan said, sitting next to Remus. He kissed him before pressing a kiss to Virgil's head. "I'd offer to also ride you, but I'm exhausted from my meeting."

"It's fine. You can enjoy Virgil with me."

"I could jerk you two off."

"That would be nice."

Logan grasped them both, pumping them slowly. It elicited such pretty noises from the both of them. He quickened his pace, kissing his husband again. Virgil watched them make out, breathing quickly. Their stomach was heating up as they continued to watch. With another tug of their hair, they spilled all over Logan, hissing as his hand kept moving and overstimulation kicked in. Maybe it was because they were sucking Remus off for awhile, but it hit them quickly. "Hurts."

Remus smirked as he pulled away from his husband, mumbling against his lips. "You heard them, Lo. Pump us faster."

They bit his shoulder, sobbing once Logan increased the pace. 

"Want to kiss Logan too? Come on."

Virgil pulled away from his shoulder, gazing at Logan. They leaned over, kissing him quickly before sitting up straight. They spoke in between grunts. "How was the meeting?"

"Pretty informative. I felt bad leaving Remus on his birthday. I'm sorry, dear. Was Virgil good?"

"They're always good. A perfect gift for me." Remus kissed his husband again, letting out a soft groan as he came. "Alright, love. They can handle more, but I can't in my age. Virgil, dear, you'll clean this all up, won't you?"

They nodded, burying their face in Remus' neck once more. Logan let go of him, keeping his hand around Virgil as he continued to pump them quickly. 

"Tell us if the pain gets to be too much." 

They gave another nod, pressing more kisses against his neck. Logan used his free hand to grab another part of Virgil's hair, gripping the curls. "Our reservation is at seven. We should leave at six thirty to make sure we get there on time. Patton's grabbing a ride with your brother. Everyone will be accompanying us back home afterwards. Virgil, you prepared the guest rooms, correct?"

"Y-yes."

"Good job."

They came again at the praise, gasping as Logan kept moving his hand. He paid them no mind.

"They'll clean all of this up with their tongue once you want me to stop." He told Remus, squeezing firmly. Virgil moaned, gripping Remus tightly. 

"Let them spill on me one more time. We all need to eat, and I want birthday snuggles."

"Of course. Virgil, you made--"

"They made my cake. Everything's going perfectly. Even if we ate dirt together, I'd be happy to spend today with the two of you. I love you both."

"We love you too."

* * *

She used she and her much more than they or he. She still needed to be reminded to take her medication each night, but she was less hesitant. Journaling became a bigger thing for her. She was sitting with Patton as they both wrote; Patton with his newest book, and Virgil in her journal. One of his hands was running through her hair. She finished her last sentence, closing the journal slowly as she peeked to look at what Patton was writing. He adjusted so she could see better, smiling as he continued to type.

"Um, Pat? What'd you major in?"

He stopped typing, looking over at her. "I actually majored in psychology." 

"How did you. . . what did you do when you struggled in a course?"

"Are you thinking of going back?"

"Yeah. My therapist said it might help me, and I really like astronomy. I'd just have to avoid having Logan's class so we don't cause some big scandal. I'm just worried I'll fall back into my old habits. What if I panic and try to seduce a professor? What if I cheat on you all and realize too late?"

"Well, we'd be happy to get you a tutor if you felt like the work was too hard, and Logan could do personal sessions to help you study. I used to listen to music. Some song I knew very well. That way, if the song got stuck in my head, I'd also remember the information I studied. I made all of my notes colorful. It was easier to read if new sections were a different color. I know you're hesitant to ask your professors for help, especially with how they helped in the past, but you can always ask. If they try to do anything inappropriate, you tell one of us. As far as assignments go, I've written a few academic papers, and I'd be happy to help. We could still get you registered for the next semester. Lo can pull a few strings--" he paused when she sniffed and rubbed her eyes. "Princess? You okay? Did I do something?"

"You were really sweet, and that's what I needed to hear."

"Aww, sweetie, come here."

He pulled her onto his lap, moving his laptop to the coffee table. He pressed kisses to her neck, sliding a hand up her shirt. He pinched her left nipple before rubbing it gently. She leaned her head back, letting out puffs of air as he continued. He used his other hand to unbutton her blouse, nipping lightly where he kissed.

"We should tell Remus and Logan. Can you call them for me, sweetie?"

She got her phone out, struggling a bit with his ministrations. She finally managed to call the house phone, putting her cellphone on speaker so she could lower her arms. Patton was using both hands to play with her chest now, pinching and squeezing. She barely registered when someone picked up the phone, too busy grunting and whining. She managed, however, and tried her best to sound natural. "H-hi."

"You okay? Is Patton having intercourse with you?" Logan's voice rang through. Remus must've been at work still.

"He's, um, oh, touching me. Yeah. Uh, Lo--fuck--I want to go back to the university." She broke off into a moan, the word _daddy_ leaving her lips. Patton wasn't slowing down. 

"Of course. Shall I register you? I think we still have all of your information in the school's database, and I'll advocate for you."

"Lo, you could be her adviser." Patton bit her ear, tugging lightly on the helix. "No one needs to know that she lives with you."

"That would be entertaining. I'd love to be your advisor, V. Alright, so you're starting a whole new major with this. Patton, if Remus and I send you money, can you use it for her? My colleagues know who my husband is, so that would be a giveaway."

"Of course. I'll pay for half of it. I love spoiling her. Oh, shoot. Virgil, honey, I have to finish this chapter. Time to get off of me."

She got off, frowning. "You rile me up and tell me to get off of you? We couldn't've just snuggled?"

"We still can."

"Fine."

Virgil resumed her position against Patton, grumbling. She buttoned up her shirt as he pulled his laptop back on his lap, typing. Logan cleared his throat over the line. "Virgil, be a good girl and let Patton work. I'm sure he'll reward you later."

"I'm not doubting it. I just got excited. I've been excited all day."

"All day? You've been there for two hours."

"I know, but I just. . . I keep fantasizing. I'm going to tell my therapist, but I keep forgetting things in favor of just getting lost in my mind. It's like an itch. I need to get it, but nothing's helping. It's just more prominent now. We brushed against it, and now I need to scratch."

"Oh, honey." Patton stopped typing, frowning at her. 

"I'm fine. Just finish your chapter so I can satisfy this itch. I can wait. I'll be good."

"I can ask my publisher for an extension--"

"I'll be fine. I won't withhold you from your job. I'm not supposed to do that anymore."

"Alright, sweetie. I should be done in less than an hour. Can you wait that long?"

"Yes."

"Good girl."

* * *

Virgil came home in a different mood this time. He wasn't angry or nervous. He looked terrified. It worried his boyfriends; he played with his hoodie as they sat down in the kitchen, waiting for him to say what he needed. He was so hesitant, and each time he started, he choked on his words and got up to do something. He'd get a glass of water or check to make sure he didn't need to add anything to the grocery list. They all waited patiently as he kept avoiding whatever he needed to say. Finally, he ran out of things to distract himself with.

"Um, okay, so she said I need to take a break from sex. I'm showing signs of being addicted, and she wants me to do half of a month without it. If I can't make it, I'll need to go to a program for people addicted to sex. If I do make it without issues, she wants me to try for the rest of the month. I'm allowed to have sex after that, but, um, I, uh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm done now."

They were silent, and he felt like vomiting. He told his therapist that this would be it. That this would make him lose his boyfriends, but she insisted if they loved him, they'd respect this. Their silence--what had it been, ten seconds? Twenty? Maybe more--was driving him mad. He wanted to scream for them to say something and to lock himself in his room and never leave. He was petrified. That was the only thing stopping him from doing either of those things. He couldn't move, and that made time move slower. He was sure they hated him. They absolutely hated him, and they only kept him for sex. He shouldn't have said anything. He should've just lied to his therapist. Remus reached over to him, and he flinched. He readied himself for the slap or the punch. Whatever that hand was going to do, he prepared himself for. To his surprise, the hand paused at the flinching and lowered to the table.

"Alright." Remus said softly, turning his hand so his palm was up. Virgil gulped, still waiting for the catch. Remus just smiled, and it didn't look sinister, but he couldn't be too careful. "Alright. We'll take a break from sex. Lo and I will participate. We can make it a month without sex for you. Pat, you good with that?"

"I'd be perfectly fine with taking a break. What's still allowed?" Patton pulled out a little notepad.

"Um, I'm allowed to masturbate, but I should try to minimize it. Kissing and non-sexual touching are also allowed. I'm sorry."

"Virgil," Logan had a stern voice, but it soothed him. Familiarity was a good feeling. "I hope you remember what I've told you countless times. You're more to us than sex. We'd be happy to help you in whatever ways you need. Remus and I could handle a year without sex for you. It'll be alright. Are you able to start your education during this time?"

He nodded, looking at the table. Remus' hand was still palm up, so he slid his hand into it. Remus squeezed gently, smiling. He kept his head down, squirming in his seat. "You two can still have sex. I just shouldn't be present for it."

"We'll wait for you; alright, princess?"

"You don't--"

"We want to. Remus, Patton, and I are all capable of going a month without sex. It'll make things easier for you, and we can spend some quality time together. I love holding you. It'll all be okay. If you have to go to a program, we'll pay for it. We'll do whatever you need."

"I'm sorry."

Patton tutted, nudging his leg with his foot. "Don't apologize. You're completely fine."

"I know. I'm sorry because I assumed the worst again. I told my therapist you'd all leave me."

"Oh, honey. I know you think that, but we would never leave you. I adore you."

"Thank you. I love you."

Patton smiled, taking his free hand and kissing it. It made Virgil smile, and that was always a sight to behold. Especially when they could all physically see the fear and worry fade from his eyes; his shoulders relaxed, and he leaned into their touches again. It was nice.

"Um, last thing. If I have fantasies or uncontrollable thoughts of sex, I'm supposed to step away and do something to distract me. I can take cold showers, clean, cook, or anything I need. I just shouldn't continue to pursue physical affection because that can set me off."

"Alright, love." Remus cooed, rubbing his palm. "We won't take offense. You're okay."

He smiled, squeezing his hand. He could handle a bit more change.

**Author's Note:**

> Author fact: I'm AFAB genderqueer, as y'all know, and when I discovered such, it was a trip. I texted some of my friends going "hey so problem: I can't write in the perspective of a female character anymore. Hate that. Makes me feel weird and uncomfortable, which sucks because most of my stories are first person with women leads." And one friend, who's trans, texted back "yeah so let's try new pronouns for you."  
> And that's how I discovered I liked they/them pronouns.
> 
> Also, this series will be getting a co-author after this addition! Flower_Rat!
> 
> Next up is the what if series on my serial killer AU (super stoked to show how Virgil evades death with each boyfriend (also y'all did such a good job reading my author's notes and voting on whether or not marriage should be allowed! There's a lot of responses)) and then a Remy x Virgil (I don't...I don't know Remy, so I apologize in advance)


End file.
